...Than giving blood on blood drive day? You do something good for somebody else (in my case, anybody else), and you get cookies, juice and a free t-shirt in return! And because it's the OBI( the Oklahoma Blood Institute - the only organization with whom I'll give blood), I'll get my cholesterol results in a few weeks.
Oklahoma - safest blood supply in the nation!
Monday, January 31, 2005
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Ok I'm Back!
And I feel pretty good right now. I've learned that my credit score, while not great, isn't bad. I'm looking for a new house to take the place of the mobile hovel. I have a loan, I think, on the ready, so I don't have to use their financing, I can bargain about the price. The hubby says he's found a deal on a Solitaire in Stillwater. Really great!
Bubba, the basset hound, is still waking me up between 3:30 am and 5:30 am, so I have yet to actually need the alarm to wake me up for work. Whiskers, the cat, has discovered he likes to sleep with me, last night on my neck until I moved him, usually on the pillow above my head. Cooter, the puppy, I wish would wake me up when he has to potty the odd time in the middle of the night, but doesn't.
My son has decided he's a loser and has no future. I'm pretty cool with him not being ready for college, even as smart as he is, but he needs to have an alternative - and beyond the Navy and the Air Force, I'm stumped. He's smart, he's funny (though the Hubby would disagree), a great kid. Some kids (like me) aren't ready for adulthood. And it is kind of thrust on you.
And I've tried to come up with some political rant, like the blogs I love to read below, or to rant on the doings in Oklahoma, but it just isn't right for me (and, geez, nothing happens in Oklahoma). So, I guess I'll just have to be happy with my 3 (or so) readers.
Well, ta for now.
Bubba, the basset hound, is still waking me up between 3:30 am and 5:30 am, so I have yet to actually need the alarm to wake me up for work. Whiskers, the cat, has discovered he likes to sleep with me, last night on my neck until I moved him, usually on the pillow above my head. Cooter, the puppy, I wish would wake me up when he has to potty the odd time in the middle of the night, but doesn't.
My son has decided he's a loser and has no future. I'm pretty cool with him not being ready for college, even as smart as he is, but he needs to have an alternative - and beyond the Navy and the Air Force, I'm stumped. He's smart, he's funny (though the Hubby would disagree), a great kid. Some kids (like me) aren't ready for adulthood. And it is kind of thrust on you.
And I've tried to come up with some political rant, like the blogs I love to read below, or to rant on the doings in Oklahoma, but it just isn't right for me (and, geez, nothing happens in Oklahoma). So, I guess I'll just have to be happy with my 3 (or so) readers.
Well, ta for now.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
The Hubby Made Me Promise
That I would tell myself that I was going to have a great day and be happy.
I guess I lied. Anxiety level is through the roof. Self-confidence, ha! As if! Self-hatred also through the roof. Also through the roof is the irrational (?) fear that I'm going to be fired. Everyone depends on me.
I guess I lied. Anxiety level is through the roof. Self-confidence, ha! As if! Self-hatred also through the roof. Also through the roof is the irrational (?) fear that I'm going to be fired. Everyone depends on me.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Mac or PC?
Now that the oil money is flowing in (ha! "flowing in" ha!), I'm thinking of getting a computer for myself.
I've wanted a mac, well, since there's been Macs. But I wanted to ask the one or two people who read my blog - Mac or PC, and why.
I've wanted a mac, well, since there's been Macs. But I wanted to ask the one or two people who read my blog - Mac or PC, and why.
Word of the Day
Kakistocracy
Meaning: Government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.
Damn! That's almost all of Oklahoma.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
For This Year Only
I am in the Middle Class, instead of Upper Lower class. I've gotten a part of my oil money, and yet, it still doesn't quite seem real. It's like it could disappear in a pouf. I'm kind of afraid to spend it. I have this weird thing about money - specifically me spending money on myself. It's almost a phobia. I get this weird feeling feeling that if I spend money on myself, bad things will happen.
This goes back to when the Hubby had his motorcycle shop, while it operated on a loss the entire time, I supported him all the way. But mine was the only paycheck. We had a Jeep repossessed (they came in the middle of the night - and the dogs didn't bark, they had to be afraid - which meant, to me, they were carrying guns), then the remainder of the note was garnished - taking a third of my take home pay. It came down to do I feed my family, or pay my bills. We attempted a bankruptcy (against my better judgement), but all that happened was a lawyer (yes, I still know his name!) ripped us off, and our credit got screwed up (and the silly bankruptcy didn't even go through). This is also around the time my father went in for a routine back surgery (there is nothing routine about surgery when you're a hemophiliac) and came out paralysed from the waist down, and a little later my mother died.
Circumstances are better, well different, now; the shop is gone (I miss it, even though it never made money), the Hubby is on disability (when he filed, everyone told him he'd have to get a lawyer, that noone goes through on the first try. Randy did. In fact at the Social Security office , Randy was asked, "How do you move?!"), but he's not in a wheelchair (yet). So, I'm getting by. Winter's are usually a little rough (I usually pray for freezing weather), but not this year. This year, it can be warm.
This year, I can relax.
Yeah, right.
This goes back to when the Hubby had his motorcycle shop, while it operated on a loss the entire time, I supported him all the way. But mine was the only paycheck. We had a Jeep repossessed (they came in the middle of the night - and the dogs didn't bark, they had to be afraid - which meant, to me, they were carrying guns), then the remainder of the note was garnished - taking a third of my take home pay. It came down to do I feed my family, or pay my bills. We attempted a bankruptcy (against my better judgement), but all that happened was a lawyer (yes, I still know his name!) ripped us off, and our credit got screwed up (and the silly bankruptcy didn't even go through). This is also around the time my father went in for a routine back surgery (there is nothing routine about surgery when you're a hemophiliac) and came out paralysed from the waist down, and a little later my mother died.
Circumstances are better, well different, now; the shop is gone (I miss it, even though it never made money), the Hubby is on disability (when he filed, everyone told him he'd have to get a lawyer, that noone goes through on the first try. Randy did. In fact at the Social Security office , Randy was asked, "How do you move?!"), but he's not in a wheelchair (yet). So, I'm getting by. Winter's are usually a little rough (I usually pray for freezing weather), but not this year. This year, it can be warm.
This year, I can relax.
Yeah, right.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
The Rebuttal
Ok, you can read David Brooks article here. And the great rebuttal by Jennifer Saba at ediitorandpublisher.com here. Go. Read.
Now for my two cents. Mr. Brooks is so full of shit (excuse my language). You expected these articles in the '6os and '70s, about the time women decided they weren't just sex toys, maids, and baby factories (remember Betty Freidan? The Feminine Mystique?). but now it's just insulting.
"Go have your babies, don't worry your pretty little head about (fill in the blank), us menfolk will handle that."
My mother worked. Her mother (Grandma Ben) worked. Her mother (Grandma) worked (she washed clothes for a living - Mama told me about it [it starts out "Well you have these two tubs..."], but I, being the spoiled suburban kid couldn't really fathom it). Even my dad's mother (Grandmother) worked (in fact she had worked so long at her city job in Clinton, OK, when she died, they declared a holiday in her honor - even though she'd been retired for a while).
When I was a little kid, she worked at the Black Hotel, downtown OKC (well, the building's still there - but it doesn't have the black tile facade anymore). I loved going to my mother's work, she was the PBX Operator. I always felt like a movie star when I went into the lobby to get my mom, everybody knew me, would say hi to me. The desk clerk was Maurice, a "bachelor" who owned show-quality Siamese cats. And Fran (I think) was another operator. Daddy's work, at Tinker AFB, overwhelmed me, but I was a star at my mother's.
Mama never really was into stereotypes, I had Barbies, but I also had a train and guns and holster, and I've never owned a girls bike (ick), although, she did force me to carry a purse when I started high school ("Why?!" "You just have to!"). I've already been into the point that she never should have retired - she didn't have any hobbies or interests to keep her mind active.
I didn't really have a choice to stay home. And I'm enough like my Mom to know I would go crazy, if I didn't work. Thanks to being a federal employee at the time with lots of sick leave saved up, I had a seven week paid maternity leave, and still had 100 hours left over. Jimmy was a very social baby, he loved daycare.
Basically the key is: if a woman is happier being Suzy Homemaker, that's what she ought to be, and her kids will be happy and well-adjusted. But if the mom isn't happy, the kids won't be happy. And most of us don't have the choice. So get off our backs!
Now for my two cents. Mr. Brooks is so full of shit (excuse my language). You expected these articles in the '6os and '70s, about the time women decided they weren't just sex toys, maids, and baby factories (remember Betty Freidan? The Feminine Mystique?). but now it's just insulting.
"Go have your babies, don't worry your pretty little head about (fill in the blank), us menfolk will handle that."
My mother worked. Her mother (Grandma Ben) worked. Her mother (Grandma) worked (she washed clothes for a living - Mama told me about it [it starts out "Well you have these two tubs..."], but I, being the spoiled suburban kid couldn't really fathom it). Even my dad's mother (Grandmother) worked (in fact she had worked so long at her city job in Clinton, OK, when she died, they declared a holiday in her honor - even though she'd been retired for a while).
When I was a little kid, she worked at the Black Hotel, downtown OKC (well, the building's still there - but it doesn't have the black tile facade anymore). I loved going to my mother's work, she was the PBX Operator. I always felt like a movie star when I went into the lobby to get my mom, everybody knew me, would say hi to me. The desk clerk was Maurice, a "bachelor" who owned show-quality Siamese cats. And Fran (I think) was another operator. Daddy's work, at Tinker AFB, overwhelmed me, but I was a star at my mother's.
Mama never really was into stereotypes, I had Barbies, but I also had a train and guns and holster, and I've never owned a girls bike (ick), although, she did force me to carry a purse when I started high school ("Why?!" "You just have to!"). I've already been into the point that she never should have retired - she didn't have any hobbies or interests to keep her mind active.
I didn't really have a choice to stay home. And I'm enough like my Mom to know I would go crazy, if I didn't work. Thanks to being a federal employee at the time with lots of sick leave saved up, I had a seven week paid maternity leave, and still had 100 hours left over. Jimmy was a very social baby, he loved daycare.
Basically the key is: if a woman is happier being Suzy Homemaker, that's what she ought to be, and her kids will be happy and well-adjusted. But if the mom isn't happy, the kids won't be happy. And most of us don't have the choice. So get off our backs!
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Study: Parent Notification Laws Won't Stop Teen Sex
- "The research published today shows abstinence-only does significant disservice to American youth by increasing the risk of pregnancy and disease," Cynthia Dailard, an analyst at the nonprofit Alan Guttmacher Institute, a reproductive health think tank, told reporters in a telephone briefing.
The full article is here. Why does this surprise people? The heavyhanded stuff just doesn't work. You would think this is just common sense. Jesus Christ! This is just about contraception! Isn't contraception better than conception? So, if you're not comfortable talking to your parents, you're just screwed? God! Sex happens, get over it.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Ok, I've been telling the world I'm 45 (ick). They say people have vivid memories of famous traumatic events: where they were, what they were doing, everything they felt. I only have one.
I can't tell you what the date was when Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. I think it was a Sunday. I know for sure it was either a holiday or a weekend, because it was night and Daddy was home (he worked the swing shift at Tinker AFB). I was doing what I usually did, laying on the floor watching tv. They preempted Bewitched to tell the news. Daddy griped about it, calling Dr. King a communist. I didn't say anything, but I rolled my eyes. That sounded so ridiculous to me. At the time, I couldn't tell you if it was because he was a reverend, or because he was (is) an American, or because he was black. I just knew he wasn't a communist.
We could use someone like Dr. King today. If someone is willing to walk through hell for what is right, maybe others will follow.
***UPDATE***
From "Strength To Love," 1963.
Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.
I found this here. The wisdom of the ages.
I can't tell you what the date was when Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated. I think it was a Sunday. I know for sure it was either a holiday or a weekend, because it was night and Daddy was home (he worked the swing shift at Tinker AFB). I was doing what I usually did, laying on the floor watching tv. They preempted Bewitched to tell the news. Daddy griped about it, calling Dr. King a communist. I didn't say anything, but I rolled my eyes. That sounded so ridiculous to me. At the time, I couldn't tell you if it was because he was a reverend, or because he was (is) an American, or because he was black. I just knew he wasn't a communist.
We could use someone like Dr. King today. If someone is willing to walk through hell for what is right, maybe others will follow.
***UPDATE***
From "Strength To Love," 1963.
Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.
I found this here. The wisdom of the ages.
Sunday, January 16, 2005
Random Thoughts
I thought about not writing this blog anymore. I mean, it is all redundant depressive rants. But I don't think that would be wise. It's like the point of coughing is to get crap out of your lungs, the point of this blog is to get crap out of my head.
I feel better today. I don't really like working on the weekend, but conversely, I don't really like the alternative either. I may hate my job, but I'm not a third wheel here.
I haven't got my oil money, yet. And, yeah, it's driving my crazy.
I don't think my son is going to college, and that drives me crazy, too. Yes, I was the one who looked for colleges since he was a freshman. But I can't do this for him. This is his life, even if it seems like he's screwing it up. "Screwing it up" is a little harsh. I don't know, you always want more for your kids. What can I tell him? A college degree is no guarantee of a good, well paying job anymore. But it's better to have than not have. I think he wants to go to college. I just think he wants me to do the application work, and even down to picking the school out. The most I can do is the financial aid junk. I can help him with it, but that's all. If he really wants out of Oklahoma, going to college is the best way to go about it.
I still have the odd pain upper back left.
And there are the odd things that bother me: That W thinks he can do whatever he wants, because he got elected. It bothers me that the WSJ compares apples to broccoli about Kos and that Armstrong guy. It bothers me that the government has been caught breaking the law, and nobody gives a damn. I still think they're going to restart the draft. And I still say, over my dead body. It bothers me that hatred and intolerance have become the norm. America is not a theocrasy (yet), and those who are not Christian have as much right to annoyingly blare their religion (or no religion) as anybody. I'd rather be more like Mr. Rogers - with everybody my neighbor. Censorship and prohibition just don't work. Some of us like Desparate Housewives (I'm also nutty about Lost, too). If you don't like it - don't watch it. Speaking of DH, I understood they found Mrs. Huber last week - I missed it. I was watching 24. Which also sucked me right up again. Oh and about Lost: It was my running joke that Boone and Shannon were more than just brother/sister. Boone was so overprotective of Shannon. You notice that they made a big deal of them being step-siblings - "no blood relation" is how the cop put it. Yowsa!! Fugitive chick now knows Korean chick can speak english. And Harley has made up with Korean dude, and Korean dude gave him a fish. Because Locke isn't hunting for boar anymore. And Locke was such a psycho on that last episode. I think he'll have to find a way to make gunpowder and blow that hatch.
I feel better today. I don't really like working on the weekend, but conversely, I don't really like the alternative either. I may hate my job, but I'm not a third wheel here.
I haven't got my oil money, yet. And, yeah, it's driving my crazy.
I don't think my son is going to college, and that drives me crazy, too. Yes, I was the one who looked for colleges since he was a freshman. But I can't do this for him. This is his life, even if it seems like he's screwing it up. "Screwing it up" is a little harsh. I don't know, you always want more for your kids. What can I tell him? A college degree is no guarantee of a good, well paying job anymore. But it's better to have than not have. I think he wants to go to college. I just think he wants me to do the application work, and even down to picking the school out. The most I can do is the financial aid junk. I can help him with it, but that's all. If he really wants out of Oklahoma, going to college is the best way to go about it.
I still have the odd pain upper back left.
And there are the odd things that bother me: That W thinks he can do whatever he wants, because he got elected. It bothers me that the WSJ compares apples to broccoli about Kos and that Armstrong guy. It bothers me that the government has been caught breaking the law, and nobody gives a damn. I still think they're going to restart the draft. And I still say, over my dead body. It bothers me that hatred and intolerance have become the norm. America is not a theocrasy (yet), and those who are not Christian have as much right to annoyingly blare their religion (or no religion) as anybody. I'd rather be more like Mr. Rogers - with everybody my neighbor. Censorship and prohibition just don't work. Some of us like Desparate Housewives (I'm also nutty about Lost, too). If you don't like it - don't watch it. Speaking of DH, I understood they found Mrs. Huber last week - I missed it. I was watching 24. Which also sucked me right up again. Oh and about Lost: It was my running joke that Boone and Shannon were more than just brother/sister. Boone was so overprotective of Shannon. You notice that they made a big deal of them being step-siblings - "no blood relation" is how the cop put it. Yowsa!! Fugitive chick now knows Korean chick can speak english. And Harley has made up with Korean dude, and Korean dude gave him a fish. Because Locke isn't hunting for boar anymore. And Locke was such a psycho on that last episode. I think he'll have to find a way to make gunpowder and blow that hatch.
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Been Thinkin'
Which, for me, is not necessarily a good thing. Happy, self-confident thoughts aren't the first ones in my head.
Anyway, I've been kind of taking stock of my life. I'm 45, overweight, and depressed. I don't consider myself pretty, although a few pounds less I'd put myself in the "cute" catagory (right now I feel like an ugly troll). I don't have any kind of college degree (I do have two years at a Junior College - A lifetime ago). I've only had jobs - never a career. In fact as a kid all I could tell you about what I wanted to be when I grew up was "rich and famous". My mom thought I should have been a writer (God I miss my mom - prestroke). But I read my regular blogs, listed on the lower left side, and I think "What the hell am I doing? I'm nowhere near their league."
Now, I have family all around me who I love, the Hubby, my son, my sister, my nieces and their kids, and they love me. But I just don't matter a DAMN. If I have a point to my existance, I sure don't see it.
Anyway, I've been kind of taking stock of my life. I'm 45, overweight, and depressed. I don't consider myself pretty, although a few pounds less I'd put myself in the "cute" catagory (right now I feel like an ugly troll). I don't have any kind of college degree (I do have two years at a Junior College - A lifetime ago). I've only had jobs - never a career. In fact as a kid all I could tell you about what I wanted to be when I grew up was "rich and famous". My mom thought I should have been a writer (God I miss my mom - prestroke). But I read my regular blogs, listed on the lower left side, and I think "What the hell am I doing? I'm nowhere near their league."
Now, I have family all around me who I love, the Hubby, my son, my sister, my nieces and their kids, and they love me. But I just don't matter a DAMN. If I have a point to my existance, I sure don't see it.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
I Need A Vacation
I am crashing BIGTIME today! The Hubby suggested I call in this morning, but, unfortunately, I'm on a final for attendance (remember sick days count as an absense, as do the times I've came in late because car trouble - and they stay on for a year). So I'm stuck here at work. I know, I know, why don't I talk to my boss, or my bosses boss - see if they can wrangle me some time off? I guess I consider it a weakness. I should be able to handle this. Oh, and I don't want to bother anybody. Yeah, I also know I probably should be on an an antidepressant. I guess we need to go over this again. I can't take Welbutrin because I have a history of seizures (no, I don't have seizures anymore - well not often, and then only the blank stare variety). What has worked best for me is Lexapro. But last year, well, like a year and a half ago, the powers that be split prescriptions out from my health provider. Previously, it had a tiered approach, so much for generic on the formulary, so much for brand name on the formulary, so much for everything else. Well, now it's so much for generic on formulary, so much for brand on formulary, full price if not on formulary, and if you don't use their direct mail after a month you pay a percentage, not a copay.
This is what is on my prescription coverage's formulary:
The following are possible alternative(s) for « Lexapro »
Medication name
Fluoxetine HCl Paroxetine HCl Paxil CR Zoloft
I have now taken all of them. Paxil works, but excuse me if I didn't like the SIDE EFFECT, that didn't GO AWAY. And, yes this may be irrational, I just don't like the idea of throwing pills at a problem.
I could just scream. All I want to do is use some of the 48 hours of vacation time I have to use THIS MONTH, or else I won't accrue any until my vacation time is under 40 hours. I DO NOT WANT TO BE AT WORK TODAY!!!
Oh, and to calm any fears, I am not suicidal (today). I may not see a point to being alive, but I am.
**UPDATE**
I have been given A vacation day tomorrow!!! One down,seven or so to go!
This is what is on my prescription coverage's formulary:
The following are possible alternative(s) for « Lexapro »
Medication name
Fluoxetine HCl Paroxetine HCl Paxil CR Zoloft
I have now taken all of them. Paxil works, but excuse me if I didn't like the SIDE EFFECT, that didn't GO AWAY. And, yes this may be irrational, I just don't like the idea of throwing pills at a problem.
I could just scream. All I want to do is use some of the 48 hours of vacation time I have to use THIS MONTH, or else I won't accrue any until my vacation time is under 40 hours. I DO NOT WANT TO BE AT WORK TODAY!!!
Oh, and to calm any fears, I am not suicidal (today). I may not see a point to being alive, but I am.
**UPDATE**
I have been given A vacation day tomorrow!!! One down,seven or so to go!
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Nothing Really To Post
Depressed today.
I plan on going to a DFA meeting tonight, but the thought kind of scares me. I'm shy, and right now don't have much, if any, self-confidence.
We'll see.
I plan on going to a DFA meeting tonight, but the thought kind of scares me. I'm shy, and right now don't have much, if any, self-confidence.
We'll see.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
This 'n That
Still have the weird pain in my back (feels like someone's digging their knuckle into my back), except today ibuprofen really isn't helping. Still waiting for it to just go away.
In other news, Howard Dean has announced his candidacy for chairman of the Democratic National Commitee. You can read his announcement here. I voted for him in our primary. My husband would have voted for him for president. Awesome! Just Awesome! Exactly what the Democratic Party needs. No more same old, same old. No more republican lite. No more apologists. Time to stand up for who we are, and trumpet it proudly! Now to get it done! Umm, anybody know how to do that?
In other news, I saw this at msnbc.com. Gives me hope for myself. Also reminds me of my Grandma Ben (yeah, her name was Ben. The story I heard was her dad wanted a boy). Successive generations of grandkids would ask her when she was going to retire. Her answer, as always, "When I get old." My mother should never have retired. Or, she should have had more hobbies than just reading romance novels (which, by themselves, can turn your mind to mush).
Oh, and I want this. Yeah I know I'm getting funny looks, but I always loved Jazzercise (but no longer have a close location or the money). I actually think I would play this (especially if the music is good).
In other news, Howard Dean has announced his candidacy for chairman of the Democratic National Commitee. You can read his announcement here. I voted for him in our primary. My husband would have voted for him for president. Awesome! Just Awesome! Exactly what the Democratic Party needs. No more same old, same old. No more republican lite. No more apologists. Time to stand up for who we are, and trumpet it proudly! Now to get it done! Umm, anybody know how to do that?
In other news, I saw this at msnbc.com. Gives me hope for myself. Also reminds me of my Grandma Ben (yeah, her name was Ben. The story I heard was her dad wanted a boy). Successive generations of grandkids would ask her when she was going to retire. Her answer, as always, "When I get old." My mother should never have retired. Or, she should have had more hobbies than just reading romance novels (which, by themselves, can turn your mind to mush).
Oh, and I want this. Yeah I know I'm getting funny looks, but I always loved Jazzercise (but no longer have a close location or the money). I actually think I would play this (especially if the music is good).
Monday, January 10, 2005
Weekend Update
Not a whole lot to report. Did some running around on Saturday, in the morning with the M-in-L, in the afternoon me and the Hubby went to the Gun Show. When we got home we discovered the heater wasn't working. Luckily it wasn't nearly as cold as it had been - so we made do with some space heaters (and yes, I know how dangerous that is!). The odd thing is the next day, after some furious cleaning, Randy went to vacuum the furnace, he turned off and on a switch, et Voila! The furnace worked again! We're going to have the heating guy come anyway to check it out.
I was wondering if it had anything to do with the electricity weirdness we've been having. I personally am more worried about electricity weirdness than space heater fires.
I just wish the money would hurry up, so I can ditch the hovel once and for all.
Oh, and I have this odd pain in my back, upper left side, kind of stabbing pain. Getting worse.
I was wondering if it had anything to do with the electricity weirdness we've been having. I personally am more worried about electricity weirdness than space heater fires.
I just wish the money would hurry up, so I can ditch the hovel once and for all.
Oh, and I have this odd pain in my back, upper left side, kind of stabbing pain. Getting worse.
Friday, January 07, 2005
T. G. I. F.
I am ready for the weekend, but this is my last Saturday/Sunday off for the next quarter. My schedule changes on the 15th to Thursday/Friday off. I don't mind working the weekend - it's the 10 days straight that'll be a killer.
I'd like to get some vacation time to break that up. But I'm kind of screwed. My company has changed how they do Paid Time Off (from now on just called PTO). It used to be vacation and sick leave were bundled together. you got a set amount you could use either way. Now, since I work in a call center, sick leave goes by the standard call center rules. Any sick leave you take counts as an absence (called an occurrence). So you get sick leave, but it counts against you if you take it. Like I said, standard call center stuff.
Now for vacation, you had it, you take it. It's best if you arrange your vacation(s) during I guess I'll call it Open Season, but I'm just not that together. And you could carry over a little to the next year.
It's now changed. They split vacation and sick. You get a total of 6 sick days a year (but, of course, it still counts against you if you take it). You get (well, me) 12 vacation days a year, but if your accrued hours go over 40, you won't get any more vacation time until it's under.
How many hours do I have right now? 88. I've been told I can put some into sick leave (which, remember counts against you if you take it), but the rest I have to take THIS MONTH.
Ok, I can do that. Hell, I want to! There's a problem. There isn't any open vacation days THIS MONTH. I have to put all my requests on a waitlist.
I want to go home.
I'd like to get some vacation time to break that up. But I'm kind of screwed. My company has changed how they do Paid Time Off (from now on just called PTO). It used to be vacation and sick leave were bundled together. you got a set amount you could use either way. Now, since I work in a call center, sick leave goes by the standard call center rules. Any sick leave you take counts as an absence (called an occurrence). So you get sick leave, but it counts against you if you take it. Like I said, standard call center stuff.
Now for vacation, you had it, you take it. It's best if you arrange your vacation(s) during I guess I'll call it Open Season, but I'm just not that together. And you could carry over a little to the next year.
It's now changed. They split vacation and sick. You get a total of 6 sick days a year (but, of course, it still counts against you if you take it). You get (well, me) 12 vacation days a year, but if your accrued hours go over 40, you won't get any more vacation time until it's under.
How many hours do I have right now? 88. I've been told I can put some into sick leave (which, remember counts against you if you take it), but the rest I have to take THIS MONTH.
Ok, I can do that. Hell, I want to! There's a problem. There isn't any open vacation days THIS MONTH. I have to put all my requests on a waitlist.
I want to go home.
I Didn't Need To Scream After All...
But I did need to laugh.
I called the Hubby on my first break, like I always do. I told him what was told to me - and, of course, started to cry. He told me a crude joke involving him and a couple of people from my work. I laughed and laughed (see, I'm still smiling). He said, "See, I knew you could laugh!"
He asked me if I was going to go back to the doctor. I told him no, I've taken everything on the formulary. There's only one thing that works, but I can't deal with the side effect. Everything else just doesn't work enough. And what works, I'm just not willing to pay full price for (isn't that what insurance is for?!!!). And, call me hard headed, but I still think my depression is more of a symptom. Of what, I don't know.
Ok, I got to tell you what happened this morning. While I am an early riser, most of the time thanks to Bubba the Bassett; I am not a morning person. Jimmy, my son, has two hoodies, both black. One just has a design on it, the other has Stewie from The Family Guy, and he's saying "Damn you all, morons!" (or so) I remember when he got the Stewie one, I asked him if he would be able to wear it to his (way uptight) school. "They haven't said anything yet."
Ok. So this morning he comes out and asks me if we have any duct tape. "What for?" I ask.
"Oh, for, like, getting rid of hair or covering a word." I'm still not really getting getting it (and my son is the master of the obtuse). "Is this a school thing?"
"Kinda."
"Well, we have tape (left over from Christmas). That's good enough to get rid of hair."
He keeps looking at me.
"oh. You want it now?"
"Yeah."
So I go get him the tape. And while he's in his room (presumably de-hairing a hoodie), the light bulb finally goes off in my head. So, when he comes out I ask him if he got dinged for the Stewie hoodie. He admitted that he had ("Yeah, I thought that was obvious."), but he's been wearing it for a month without anybody saying anything.
Now we'll see if he duct tape's the cuss word (eyes roll), or just wears the other one.
And to recap the good news, today I'm happy.
I called the Hubby on my first break, like I always do. I told him what was told to me - and, of course, started to cry. He told me a crude joke involving him and a couple of people from my work. I laughed and laughed (see, I'm still smiling). He said, "See, I knew you could laugh!"
He asked me if I was going to go back to the doctor. I told him no, I've taken everything on the formulary. There's only one thing that works, but I can't deal with the side effect. Everything else just doesn't work enough. And what works, I'm just not willing to pay full price for (isn't that what insurance is for?!!!). And, call me hard headed, but I still think my depression is more of a symptom. Of what, I don't know.
Ok, I got to tell you what happened this morning. While I am an early riser, most of the time thanks to Bubba the Bassett; I am not a morning person. Jimmy, my son, has two hoodies, both black. One just has a design on it, the other has Stewie from The Family Guy, and he's saying "Damn you all, morons!" (or so) I remember when he got the Stewie one, I asked him if he would be able to wear it to his (way uptight) school. "They haven't said anything yet."
Ok. So this morning he comes out and asks me if we have any duct tape. "What for?" I ask.
"Oh, for, like, getting rid of hair or covering a word." I'm still not really getting getting it (and my son is the master of the obtuse). "Is this a school thing?"
"Kinda."
"Well, we have tape (left over from Christmas). That's good enough to get rid of hair."
He keeps looking at me.
"oh. You want it now?"
"Yeah."
So I go get him the tape. And while he's in his room (presumably de-hairing a hoodie), the light bulb finally goes off in my head. So, when he comes out I ask him if he got dinged for the Stewie hoodie. He admitted that he had ("Yeah, I thought that was obvious."), but he's been wearing it for a month without anybody saying anything.
Now we'll see if he duct tape's the cuss word (eyes roll), or just wears the other one.
And to recap the good news, today I'm happy.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
And the Results Are...
Not surprising. Called the doctor's office just before I left for work. Kim wasn't there, of course. So I just told them that that was the only time I could call and Kim didn't leave the message with my husband. So the receptionist said she would find out what's what.
"You're levels are normal. You're iron is a little low. We need to make an appointment to discuss antidepressant options. Do you want to make an appointment now?"
"No, thank you."
At first I was in such a fury! I could have ripped the hovel apart with my bare hands. Now, true to form, all that anger's turned inward. I could spew self-hatred, but that would be redundant. So, I'll sign off for now.
God.
"You're levels are normal. You're iron is a little low. We need to make an appointment to discuss antidepressant options. Do you want to make an appointment now?"
"No, thank you."
At first I was in such a fury! I could have ripped the hovel apart with my bare hands. Now, true to form, all that anger's turned inward. I could spew self-hatred, but that would be redundant. So, I'll sign off for now.
God.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Ice Storm Post - Or I Thought I Made Mountains Out of Molehills
It's rained for two days and finally decided to freeze early this morning. Luckily, here in central Oklahoma, It was starting to poop out, the major ice being in the NW yesterday. That doesn't mean our local media won't make a big giant fuss out of it. And our populace made the most of that by going out and doing everything the media tells them not to do.
My doctor's office FINALLY called yesterday. Of course I was at work, but that's why they have the home phone and the Hubby's Cel ph numbers. SO THEY COULD TELL HIM WHATEVER THE HELL IS GOING ON (or not going on)!!
The Message that was left? "Call Kim."
So I call before I leave for work, but the office is closed. I think, "Maybe they're opening up late." I actually drive the 43 miles between home in Guthrie and work in Moore, and the Oklahoma county portion of I35 were worse than the Logan County portion. So I am here at work, and feeling like an idiot for coming to work. I've called twice now and the office is still closed. Ok, to be fair, the second time could have been during their lunch. I'm just so damn frustrated.
And no, I'm not staying a whole day at work.
My doctor's office FINALLY called yesterday. Of course I was at work, but that's why they have the home phone and the Hubby's Cel ph numbers. SO THEY COULD TELL HIM WHATEVER THE HELL IS GOING ON (or not going on)!!
The Message that was left? "Call Kim."
So I call before I leave for work, but the office is closed. I think, "Maybe they're opening up late." I actually drive the 43 miles between home in Guthrie and work in Moore, and the Oklahoma county portion of I35 were worse than the Logan County portion. So I am here at work, and feeling like an idiot for coming to work. I've called twice now and the office is still closed. Ok, to be fair, the second time could have been during their lunch. I'm just so damn frustrated.
And no, I'm not staying a whole day at work.
Monday, January 03, 2005
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