It's been one month today. I just realized that. I've now sent him three letters and have only received one. Yes, I know he's busy. What can I say? I know he's a man now, but I'm still a mother.
A mother but not a mother hen; the ex has been calling pretty regularly (ik). First to see if Jimmy was still here, that he needed to say goodbye. Then to see if I had the address, and hell, yeah I did, but the Hubby didn't tell him that. The last time was to say (I guess) he'd had a call from Jimmy, and the Hubby, not gently, told him not to call anymore.
There's a part of me that says, "well he should have called me, too!!" Like I said just before, he's a man now. I'm going to let him be a man, even if I don't like it. And, again he IS busy, and he's never really been one to write, and if 3 of the 6 girls I've given his address to are in contact with him, who knows, he might not have any spare time left.
Today is day 2 of Birthday Week. Yesterday would have been Mama's 81st birthday. Today is my deceased F-in-L's birthday, tomorrow is MY BIRTHDAY, Friday is the B-in-L's birthday (but he doesn't count), and Saturday is Jimmy's. I've already told Jimmy he needs to aim for October 17th. No reaction.
Still being lazy about Therapy homework, journaling, timeline, letters to my parents. I'm starting to get a little apprehensive about going back to work. I need to find out what I want to do, and go back to school. I can't take any more mind-numbing, soul-destroying jobs. I really DO need to think about me and my needs. AAAAnnnndddd I need to be more assertive, and I need to set and keep boundaries.
I'm still working on those last two.
2 comments:
Happy belated birthday! Sending good thoughts your way.
Thanks, Dr. 'Dog!!
Right back at ya!!
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