Still Alive...

Oh, yeah, post number 397.

Haven't heard anything from the interview last week. Yeah, like I am. I've heard from some insurance benefits call center that may have a temporary Customer Svc position opening in June or July.

Sigh.

I think I need to talk to somebody. Because I don't want to work. No, no, no that's not quite true. I want to work on my own terms. Something that fits just me. Something where I can take off and travel (money willing). Something where I can be by the Hubby's side anytime he needs me, or I can go to doctors or therapists anytime I need to. Something fulfilling. Something I won't get sick of in six months, or make my skin crawl in a year, or do anything to disconnect (oh, like surfing the web at work when you're not supposed to, although everybody did it), no matter the cost. Kind of o-t, I've noticed my total cholesterol (God Bless the OBI!!) has gone down, still elevated though, since I got fired.

I'd still like to be someone like Erma Bombeck, newspaper columnist, used to be on Good Morning America - how cool would that be?! I could do it, too!! I know I can. I still say I could be the fat chick on the View. I could be a beacon for the fat, the depressed, the shy and the social phobics, the people without a voice who, on there own volition, fade into the background terrified of the outside world and the thought of interacting in it. Definately not easy, but I could do it. I ought to do it!

Sigh.

I just don't know how. You know, Good morning America or Dr. Phil could just come here, or call me, or email me and say, "Hey! How would you like to be on TV?!" (not unlike the ancient commercial: "Hey! How would you like a nice Hawaiian Punch?") SURE!!

I'd like to go back to college (though, geez, can we leave the math stuff alone?), but again, lack of money rears its ugly head. No, I won't do loans I can't pay off.

I mean, I don't necessarily want a degree (though, yeah, cool), I want to learn for the sake of learning. I want to look back and say, "Well, duh, I already knew that!" Because, sometimes, we have to be shown just what we're capable of.