Yeah, I'm still here. I still don't see a point to living. I still think I'm unemployable, and would rather win the lottery. But, for now at least, I have stepped back just a little from the brink of suicide.
I'm not going to apologize for what I wrote. It's what I felt at the time. No, sometimes this blog is all that's keeping me here. I don't have many friends, those I do have I don't want to bother with my problems. And even though they loom large in me, my problems are pretty minor in the scheme of things. So I write, well, spew it all out here. And I appreciate those who come back and read my drivel time after time.
I read this in yesterday's NY Times:
Washington
Proposals for Mental Health Parity Pit a Father’s Pragmatism Against a Son’s Passion
By ROBERT PEAR
Published: March 19, 2007
Two Kennedys are facing off over competing versions of legislation that would provide more generous benefits to people with mental illness.
I've been hospitalized once (an interesting 4 - maybe 5 - days back in the fall of 2005), and have been in outpatient programs twice (I prefer the ST Anthony's Share program to the Integris program - even though I prefered Integris' Dr. Chakraburty to the psychiatrists of ST Anthony's) and each time I've had to battle my insurance. Every time I've had to change my insurance, I've had to make sure I got the plan with the best mental health coverage, which still tended to be a joke. How many times I can see a therapist? Is the therapist/psychiatrist I'm already seeing covered? Are the meds they're giving me covered? Or what do I have to settle for? Will the med I had to settle for DO any damn thing for me? And why can't the copay be the same as my PCP?
So YAY!! YAY to the Kennedys!! I would prefer Kennedy fils plan to Kennedy pere's, but I'll accept either. But what am I saying?! I'm unemployed, uninsured, and SOL right now. What I wouldn't do for some Lexapro. And a job. But I'd prefer to win the lottery and not have to worry about any of that.
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