A week ago, after posting, I got the phone interview. I thought I did well, I thought I explained my firing by being honest, and explaining my problems with depression. Her last words to me were that I would either be called to schedule the in person, in depth interview or I would get the thanks, but no thanks letter.
I still haven't gotten the thanks, but no thanks letter, but everybody else who was in my training class got an interview scheduled right then on the phone. I was crushed. ok. My psyche was fragile enough already. So, except for when I was on the phone with customers, I been, pretty much, crying constantly. It's not a perfect job, I understand that. There are things about it which I don't like, low starting pay, few holidays, no mute button, no putting customers on hold unless you're calling a CSR. I liked it, and I was good at it.
Now they're telling me that I should be optimistic, that I don't know what's going to happen. Well, I do know that they're considering temps from other cities, whose center isn't hiring over me. Oh, they just called so-and-so just today (Friday), they can still call you. Keep doing a good job. have a good attitude.
God, I could scream. I can't be optimistic, I'm. A. Depressive!!!! I've had 3 major depressions in the last 3 years, each one worse. Life has no meaning for me. Yet I'm supposed to pull happy thoughts out of my butt?!
I guess I can kind of see their point. People who've never had a major depression just don't understand. It's supposed to be so easy to keep a positive outlook. They don't know any other way.
Well. Neither do I.
I can't chase rainbows. With the Hubby on disability, everything is on my shoulders. This means I have to, yet again, start looking for a job. A permanent job. And I hate looking for a job, I'm not good at it. I really suck at interviews, yet here I go again.
Maniacal laughter ensues.
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