Not In the Mood To Blog...

But, hey, I'm not crying!

Of course my period started and that could be part of the reason I reacted as I did.

The answer is....


no. No matter how well I am doing the job at this moment (and let me tell ya, I ROCK), I am not good enough for a permanent position at Southwest Airlines. Buuuuttt, I can apply again in six months!!! YAY!!

And now, it's a little hard to go to work. To top it off, they're offering more hours, up to 37.5 for the week until the end of the assignment. Since I kinda do need the money, I do the extended hours, even if my entire existence wants to say, "Screw you!"

I've heard tell you can't go home again, but that's exactly what I've attempted: I went back to Hertz last week and put in an app. I didn't get fired the first time out, I quit. And I didn't really want to quit, either. I just wanted the time off to settle my head, having finally crashed in June of 2000, after my mother's death in February of 1999. But it was like I was locked inside myself at the time, unable to tell my (then) doctor I needed more than 2 weeks off (aside - I had been off of work by then for about 3months, first I didn't get the form from work for the short-term disability, then when I got the replacement, the (then) doc only put down two weeks), and also unable to explain to Hertz Hoohahs that it wasn't money, I just wanted the time off and then was ready to go back to work. I had myself in a tight little box. I officially quit in October of 2000. If I had had the foresight to put 2 weeks in the future on that form, all this would be a moot point.

So. Now I am yet again at the point where I am to "THINK POSITIVELY". Kind of a foreign concept to me. But I am trying. The problem being getting a job and doing said job are entirely different skills. One I have not at all, the other I have out the ass. I'm almost at a point where I don't think I can get any job.

Hertz, give me a chance!! I did a great job, before my mother died. I never wanted to quit, I just wanted the time off! You know I can do the job!! Let me prove it!!