Cashiering at WalMart hasn't been that bad. I've almost gotten used to standing all day. I've got another interview coming up, also.

So I should be happy. So why aren't I? I'm so anxious I feel like I could explode. And sad, too. Not a suicidal depression, just a sort-of life-is-worthless-I-am-worthless kind of thing.

I think it's money. I still can't bring my utilities and car payment up to date. Well, no reason to rehash old problems.

I'm going to slow down on this for a while. Not that it really matters. Working's taking a lot of my time and the computer is unreliable. And I don't really have anything new to say.

But I do wish I mattered.

Gainfully, If Not Meaningfully, Employed

Yes, I am now in the ranks of the employed. I am a cashier-in-training at a Wal-mart. Hopefully I can get my bills caught up. I'd still rather win the lottery.

It seems odd to me that in my entire life, I've either gone sideways or backwards job-wise (I can't say I've ever had a career). I get to $12.75 an hour, and somehow my life needs a correction (divorce, depression, getting canned), and I have to start over. All those job interviews I went on, and all I had to do was go to walmart.com. Freaky.

In other news, my son has a really great post on religion over at his myspace space, but this computer at the library is stupid, and I couldn't copy the link - so go check out jimtheplatypus at myspace.

Also, my husband's arthritis has turned his shoulder into (what?!) crap. He's gotten yet another pain pill, and a referral to an orthopedic doctor. SIGH. I wish there was something I could do. I wish it wasn't his entire body. At this point, it seems like only death will ease his pain. That's just not fair.