Rants: Same Ol', Same Ol'

Well.

At Thanksgiving I had to tell my son I couldn't come to see him graduate this Friday from the Nuke program, because we don't have the money to travel to Charleston. Well, I kinda palmed that off to the Hubby. He offered money, which we knew he would, he's a good kid. This like the story of my life, always disappointing somebody, especially Jimmy. I've always struggled for money, providing the roof over his head and food, but always coming up short in the extras. I guess I always relied on my ex to provide what I couldn't.

This has been the worst year, and it's all my fault. Yes, I hated working at Cendant, but why couldn't I just suck it up and follow their stupid no internet rules? I'd still have the good paying, but soul-sucking job I'd had for 4 years. And, possibly, probably, the money to go to charleston. But noooooo, I had to screw up and get fired, and then have problems getting a job, then take what I thought I should do, but that didn't pan out and now I'm opening mail.

But why couldn't I have gotten my oil money?! It's out there in Roger Mills County pumping away. I haven't seen one dime.

The Hubby is devastated, and blames himself. I think he's close to suicide, but there's nothing I can do. I'll be away from him at work most of the day. Mental health is one thing Medicare doesn't pay well. I don't want him to die, but I can't stop him.

And all we need is money. All we needed was a little miracle, so I could be with the Hubby, and we could go to Charleston to see my son graduate.

I told God I needed a miracle because I feared for the Hubby's life - nothing. Well, to be fair, God has until Wednesday.

It sounds so frivolous, but it's crushing us, and we have nobody to talk to.

Life just isn't worth living.

I have learned two things opening mail for the OKC based Christian Charity: opening mail is boring, and I will NEVER do anything else for Today's Staffing!! First of all, when I get there Friday (before last), they didn't even know I was coming! Now, last week, they call me during work, like it's some kind of emergency. What was it that was so all-fired important? That I needed to fax them my time card before 1pm Friday or I wouldn't get paid for that week until the next week. I'm told that the people I work for will just estimate my time for Friday and Saturday, that that's ok. Well, it wasn't really ok with them, but they did it anyway. And the card didn't get faxed until after 2pm, so I may be paid this week or not.

Oh, and I most likely won't be able to go see Jimmy next (not this) week. No money. DAMN IT!!! It's not like I'm asking for much. I'm asking for what's due to me already. I'm so proud of my son! I want to show my support!

And I did have 2 job interviews last week, I think I did okay at both. I'm cautiously optimistic. But, hell I've thought that before.

Happy Election Eve

Well.

I've rejoined the ranks of the employed. Openning mail and data entry at a local Christian Charity. It's a temp job. I'm not real sure I want it, but don't really seem to have an alternative. I did have an interview at the State Department of Health for a Admin Tech job, very interesting job, to me the interview seemed to go well, but I have a history of boogering interviews. That would be the one I want.

And, thank God election day is Tomorrow!! For me, the gist is: I am voting for NO Republicans. Since I don't live in Oklahoma County, I don't get the pleasure of voting against Mary Fallin and Wes Lane. The best I get is voting against Frank Lucas (that would be FOR Sue Barton - and I think she has a good chance).

And doesn't the Saddam verdict coming when it did seem awfully coincidental? And maybe I'm too much of a peacenik, but it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do right now. My husband completely disagrees. To me, it just seems like throwing gasoline on a fire.

Oh, and I STILL haven't received any royalty money. If the Little Well that Could out in Roger Mills County is pumping oil and natural gas out of the ground, the oil companies (or whoever) should be prying open their wallet to pay me. Why is it taking so long? I need that money so I can go to Jimmy's graduation at the Naval Nuclear Power Training Command in Charleston late November. He wants us there, we need to be there. period.