For Those Who Care

I heard from Marine's Girl. I found an email address in her profile, found by finding a comment she left in a past Daily Kos posting (found by googling "Marines Girl"). I wrote her to see if she was ok.

I'm not going to post her reply, unless she says it's ok. I don't think she meant for her blog to be lost, but it's ok with her since her Marine is home.

Just take care, ok?

And You Thought I was Kidding

Gamecock boxing plan derailed

Maureen Dowd Rocks!

Read this column and you'll see why.

Digby Does It Again!

Another awesome post: "The Resentment Tribe"! It ought to be manditory reading for everyone in the nation.

Anybody Hear from Marine's Girl?

I haven't been able to bring up her blog, Across the River.

I have a gripe...

With last night's CSI. Why doesn't Rude Twerp wake up and if not push off Big Lady, and least bang on her to get her to wake up? They said he didn't die immediately, he had time to wake up and say, "hey chick! You're choking me! Get your fat ass off!". Can somebody answer me in a way that won't piss me off.

Oh, and I'm NOT THAT BIG.

Closing on the House

As early as next week!!! The delivery and setup guy has already called! he wants to scope out the water and sewer and utility stuff!! now we just have to get someone to move the hovel over to my M-in-L's property for my stepson Jason. This is so fantastic!!

The only bad thing I can see is that we'll have to use the old decrepit furniture first. We're getting to the end of our oil money. Wow! was it nice not having to worry for a while.

I've got it right, now.

I did the shift trade correctly this time. So it's Friday and I'm at work. Yes, that means I'm working 6 days in a row, but I'm just so damn nice.

The Logan County 3/4 cent sales tax vote is next Tuesday, March 1. I can't see it as having a hope in hell of passing. The poop from my M-in-L, who works at our bank, is that if (when) it doesn't pass, the county commissioners are going to raise the property tax.

Again, the county jail (in the basement of the courthouse), which is, like, a hundred years old, is a decrepit mess, but has been so for at least 40 years, and they've known it would have to be replaced for a good 20. Why they didn't do it when the oil was flowing (up to the early '80s)? And the town of Guthrie is just as culpable. Now they're all worried about losing business. Locals, except for the least mobile of retirees, don't shop in Guthrie anyway, they go to Stillwater, or the city. Jesus Christ, somebody needs to pull their heads out of their ass!

I'm of Two Minds

On one hand, I need to spew all of self-hatred. I need to get it out of my system.

On the other, I'm afraid I'll scare off my reader(s).

No, I don't want to kill myself (well, right now - it would leave too many open wounds). So, why can't I just drop dead, like a heart attack, or something like that? Something natural. No stigma.

The Call Center Center of the Universe

AKA Oklahoma City - well, not so much anymore, really. It just seems like it. I was feeling slightly better than yesterday this morning. Until I got monitored. Then it was major anxiety.

For those not familiar with call center lingo, being monitored means someone, usually a supervisor, listens to a random call and scores it for certain criteria.

Let me tell ya, my anxiety alarms went off big - heart pounding, face flushed, pain in the neck and arms. I knew I was going to lose everything, job, car, house, life itself. Everything is up to me. Scary.

The teeny, tiny logical part of my brain tells me my fears are unfounded. I just wish the rest of me believes that.

I Hate Sundays!

Maybe more than I hate myself.

This is a normal Sunday, we go over to the M-in-L's house, and read the paper, and eat breakfast.
I don't know, maybe I'm just waaaay to sensitive (ya think?!), but it seems like the M-in-L goes out of her way to make me feel inferior. I mention (or it was mentioned) that I need to exercise but don't have time - "Well I make time in the morning, I ride my exercise bike every day!" And the snarky comment that runs through my head is, "it only takes you 5 minutes to get to work, too! I have a 50 minute commute. So in the morning I have time to get up, get showered, get dressed, maybe eat a little and go to work. And I'm certainly not walking around my neighborhood without packing a gun!" No, I didn't say any of that. Then they rag on Jimmy. Yes, I'm his mother. Yes, I'm too forgiving, but I take it personally when they go off on him.
And because all this is starting to eat at me, I decide to leave early. I leave one equal packet on the table, and that starts it all again. So, properly shamed, I put the packet back in the equal box and leave.
I had forgotten to get a lunch at home (I've been in a soupy mood), so I went back home to get a can of soup and a pop. So I wasn't way, way early to work today.

Then I get to work and it's busy (they don't have enough people on the phones early in the morning). And almost everything they call about could wait until Monday. And it will get busy again when the early morning people leave.

I've kind of decided sensitive people shouldn't be in Customer Service. Sometimes I can let it go, sometimes I can't.

On the "I should be happy" side, we're getting our house. At an affordable price, too. We financed through the company, so the interest rate is a little high, but we were told yes right off, and the land isn't held as collateral. Now I feel I'm under the gun, anything from here on (well, from when the new house is delivered and set up), housework-wise is my fault.

I should be happy, but all I want to do is crawl into a box and @#*.

Can We Stop Being the Laughingstock of the Nation Now?!

From channeloklahoma.com:

OKLAHOMA CITY -- Tattoo artists were one step closer Thursday to setting up legal shops in Oklahoma.
A House committee approved a bill Wednesday that would legalize tattooing. Oklahoma is the only state in the nation to outlaw tattoos.
The measure now goes to the full House for a vote.

Don't tell me. I know the answer.

The Kid

Is officially in the Nuclear Program in the Navy. He had to resign papers yesterday, they had just received his transcript. And he has to call them either everyday or every other day, but I don't know why. I asked Jimmy why and I get, "I don't know, they told me to."

OK.

And for those out there thinking, "Oh my God! There's a war on! How can you let him do this?" I've been looking at colleges since Jimmy was a freshman. But I am not the one going to college (this may be a "youth is wasted on the young" thing). He had to be the one who wanted to go. He had to be the one to put in the (some) effort. Yes, I would have helped him. But I'm not going to do the work for him. I never have, I'm not starting now. I won't really have to worry about him (though I will anyway), he'll be in school for like 2 years, and after that - well, we'll think about "after that" after that.

I'm proud of him.

Oh, and I got a t-shirt!!

Yeah, I know everybody does it, but I FEEL STUPID

I'm doing a shift trade, I got off on her Wednesday day off, and am working her Friday. OR SO I THOUGHT. The trade is for NEXT WEEK. I rarely do these things, I don't pay attention to them. I know everybody makes mistakes. I know everybody has done things like this and it's NO BIG DEAL. I know.

It just sets off all the little negative voices in my head. I crashed.

BIG.

So, I've spent all morning crying my eyes out, feeling so incompetent.

No, I'm not in trouble. I explained everything to my boss's boss.

He Passed His Physical

The recruiter called me around 3pm yesterday, while I was on my last break. So the hubby picked Jimmy up. The Hubby says he and Jimmy talked all the way home, and Jimmy is happy. I don't know some details, because Jimmy was at work when I got home, and will likely be tonight. He's going into their nuclear program - but not offcially until Tuesday. The school's been kind of pissy with the recruiter and they won't get a copy of his transcript until tomorrow.

I still don't know if Jimmy is mad at me. The Hubby just says, "He's happy. Leave it alone."

OK.

My long weekend is over...

I was supposed to get off early enough on Tuesday to go meet with the mortgage loan officer at my bank in Guthrie. She's kind of an itinerant - and is in different offices on different days. Well, I had a long call and missed her. I did speak to a regular loan guy. I'm thinking of going that route. Yeah, the interest rate will be variable, but they will overlook my not great credit. One wrinkle that has now been overcome, the land is in the M-in-L's name (loooong story), but she is going to transfer it to us - then he will be able to do a 20 or 30 year loan. I just have to start filling out the app, and figuring out just how much we need. Closer and closer to a new house!

On the family front:

My son's joining the Navy. He's taking the physical and stuff today. Thursday, we went to buy his (overdue) tag, and after that I needed to buy 2 new tires (bald! Scary!). My thought (as such was put into it) was to go to Walmart, since I had got 2 tires last summer at a Walmart, so they would match.

I've been frustrated with the kid this year. He has a brilliant mind, but no drive. I've been looking for colleges for him since his freshman year. He's been an honor student practically his whole life (he had a 4th grade reading level in 1st grade!) . I just couldn't get him to want to do anything. And this year, his Senior year, his grades are suffering (heck, he won't even show me a report card - though he swears his GPA is around 3.0). I've said this before, I'm cool with him not being ready for college. A lot of kids aren't. But for my kid, doing nothing after high school is not an option. Because I know from experience life then drags you along until one day you wake up (say at 45) with little to show from your life. NOT. MY. KID.

Anyway, on the way to get said tires, I was talking to (at?) Jimmy. Not getting anywhere. He thinks he's a loser. He doesn't know what he wants to do. I tell him there's just not that much opportunity here in Oklahoma (unless you can get on out at Tinker or GM). I might as well have been talking to a rock. I got frustrated (and angry). I dropped him off at the recruiter, I had a question (which, at the moment, I've forgotten) I wanted to ask. While I was there, Jimmy was sullen and uncooperative, so I suggested that I'd go buy my tires and come back. (OT - can Walmart TAKE any longer to put on tires?) When I got back, the recruiter said, "Let's tell your mom what you've decided." At that time, I was ecstatic. Jimmy was going to get the physical and stuff on Saturday, but I had to drop him off at the recruiters Friday night.

Friday morning, Jimmy was giving me this, "You know I don't really want to join the Navy." I told him he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to do. I tried to tell him I thought he was a smart, funny guy. That he's not a loser. I don't know if anything got through. But I kind of feel like a crumb. I don't think I forced him into it, but I kind of feel that way. The hubby says Jimmy's playing me, that it's for the best. I don't know how to feel. I don't want him to hate me, but I'm not going to just sit around and let him screw up his life.

Sigh.

Read This!

The Last Temptation by Digby.

I don't usually do politics or religion, because it's not easy for me to write.

I've been a Democrat since 1972 (but since I come from a line of Roosevelt Democrats, it was pretty pre-determined). I became a Democrat in 8th Grade, my Civics, the teacher (she had a blond boufant, but that's all I remember) had us make signs for the election. Mine read "Can we stand four more years of Nixon?" I had wanted it to read "President Nixon" for emphasis, but my stencils were too big. On election day, she brought in an actual voting machine, and had all of her classes vote for president. It was all of her classes to 2, I had convinced my friend, Bea, to vote for McGovern. I wasn't happy with the results, but I was proud of myself (the whole thing is on the odd side. I never did homework - but I did the sign, and I normally hated myself).

Posts like Digby's scare me. It just seems so obvious. I can just see me telling my grandkids about the freedoms we used to have. How we could go anywhere we wanted, and say anything we wanted. And the grandkids look at me in horror and disgust and say, "What the hell happened?"

Local Officials to Talk About New Jail

Guthrie -- Logan County Sheriff Randy Richardson and District Attorney Rob Hudson will talk to county residents about the need for a new Logan County Jail, Richardson said.

Yes, Logan County needs a new jail. The old one is in the basement of the Logan County Courthouse, a hundred or so years old. Calling it decrepit is being kind.

On March 1, there will be a special election where we decide to adopt a 10 year 3/4 cent sales tax to pay for said new jail. It's not going to happen. Guthrie's sales tax is already 83/4 cents, and what do we get for that? It looks like this has actually lit a fire under Guthrie city government. They've decided, "Damn, this might be bad for us!" You can read the city councils arguments here.

Couldn't we have decided the sales tax was too high, like a penny ago?

They've needed to replace the jail for at least 30 years. It's to the point of being dangerous. Couldn't they have done it during the good old oil bubble days of the late 70s, early 80s, when everybody had money?

But it's not going to happen now. We don't have the money to spare. The city has just now discovered they have a high sales tax, and isn't going along with the county's percieved urgent need.

I actually live outside of Guthrie in District 2, so the county government IS my government. They can go screw themselves. The only places you see a sheriff's car is at the county courthouse, or on I35 head to or from OKC. God forbid they actually patrol the county. When the Hubby worked for the county (laborer, truck driver), it was the only job he had where he got into trouble for WORKING TOO HARD. They keep trying to make water run uphill on our road. Just last week they cut deep ditches on the sides of Midwest (in fact cutting the phone line in 2 places - we were out of service most of that day), making the road just barely fit 2 cars. And then they didn't even grade it smooth. And it has since rained, and the road is a soupy mess.

The Hubby swears he's going to call our County Commissioner and complain. I think I'm going to hold him to it this time.

Who Knew?

The dog alarm has a snooze? Bubba did his usual woofing at 5am, but I ignored it. And he stopped! He and Cooter, and Whiskers the cat all settled on the bed and went back to sleep. And Whiskers didn't sleep on my head last night. He did knead my neck a little (catupuncture?), but not like the night before (I think I knocked him off - he slept on the Hubby).

The Hubby says it was probably because it was raining, and the dogs really didn't want to go out.

Who would?

While I am an Okie, I am not a country girl. I am a suburban girl, through and through. I was born in Mercy Hospital, when Mercy was Downtown (then they followed "white flight" and moved out to what was then in the middle of nowhere, remote NW Oklahoma county). Spent most of my life in Del City, less a suburb of OKC than a suburb of Tinker AFB.

But ten years ago, I married a guy from Guthrie. His parents had an actual acreage. They had actual cows (which the hubby's dad got sick of and sold off, then he bought miniature horses). I'd like to say I adapted to rural life, but that's not really true. I am the observer.

Yesterday, was Coyle, Oklahoma's 4H & FFA Pork Chop Supper and Auction. Coyle is a dying, little town east of Langston on State Highway 33. SH 33 is being rerouted around Langston and Coyle. The portion around Langston is done, the new bridge across the Cimarron, from Logan County into Payne County toward Stillwater, looks pretty much done, but there's a lot of roadwork to be done.

Coyle has a gas station/convience store, a bank, a post office, and a restaurant I've never seen, but have seen the sign, oh and a smoke shop. I has lots of old, decrepit buildings, that look like their held up with spit. Coyle schools are all together in one picturesque building built in 1939 by the WPA. The pictures of every Senior class - from the '30s - line the walls, each one in a plaque, hung from the top of the wall, but tilted down for easier viewing. So, for Coyle, the Pork Chop Supper is a BIG DEAL (almost the only deal). People come from all around the area, Coyle, Langston, Guthrie, Perkins, even Crescent. Local businesses (meaning Guthrie and Perkins, I've gone into the businesses in Coyle) donate money and/or stuff for the auction and get tickets to the meal. The bank the M-in-L works at gave her tickets. There were a lot of people there the Hubby and the M-in-L knew - I knew nobody. So, I just watched. Looked at the sale items. A good portion of the homemade quilts seemed to be by one prolific woman. There was one OU throw in a sea of OSU items, throws, t-shirts, etc. Most of the stuff seemed to be plain D crap - garage sale stuff. Some businesses donated stuff, some gave gift certificates for service. We didn't stay for the auction, we did our service for Coyle 4H and FFA, got 3 dinners togo and left.

It was a damn good pork chop, smoked, tender, about 3/4 of an inch thick. My baked potato, however, seemed a little unevenly cooked. But who am I to complain? I got a free dinner, and lunch for today. And as a huge people watcher, I was in heaven.

It feels odd blogging on a Saturday, but as it is my Monday, it really isn't odd.

Oh, and speaking of feeling odd, I got paid Friday (direct deposit - the only way to go), and IT DIDNT MATTER TO ME. Freaky, huh?

An update on spending oil money: We (actually meaning me) had second thoughts on buying the Solitaire, and went to another dealer in El Reno (most famous for having a Federal Prison. - OT - Yeah, I know, just go ahead and put barbed wire around Oklahoma, that's what it's coming to). Anyway, they had this house, smallish, fit some of (well, what we thought were) our needs, and they said they would cut us a deal. Yeah, it's all this! Yeah, it's all that! Yes, it has 2x6 walls! Ok, it didn't have 2x6 walls, it had 2x4. And no they didn't give us a deal. We finally got disgusted (I'm sorry, I'm buying a HOUSE, not a freakin' used car!) and called it off (actually I got the hubby to do that one. And he said, "What's going to happen when I'm not around to take care of you?" I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.). I also stopped payment on the check I had given them, probably not necessary, call it a preemtive strike. Then we went back to Solitaire, and we are getting the one we really want: THIS ONE (the hubby's leaning toward total electric - I would rather have the gas stove and furnace). So, that said, all they do is deliver and set up and the AC (Central Air - isn't just the thought of it wonderful?). We have to get someone to take the Hovel over to M-in-L's place (where it will become the Stepson's pad). The hubby will do the dirt work to level the pad (while we live on a slope, the pad where the house will go is actually pretty level). We're going to put in cement runners, so we need someone to do that. Oh, and since we absolutely, positively do not want vinyl skirting, we need someone for that, too - like a faux foundation. The hubby told me they can recommend people for that. And then the plumber to do the water and septic stuff, and an electrician to connect the power, and we're done! And, I suspect the money will be, too. One more thing, I've learned our bank does actually do mortgage loans for manufactured homes, as long as they're double-wides. Now we learn if they'll put us being loyal customers over my not great credit, and maybe I won't have to put a huge down payment.

Now, we're looking at furniture, because ours is crap not worthy of a thrift store. Just started looking, seen lots of foo-foo stuff that doesn't fit our personalities. And lots of expensive stuff that doesn't seem worth it. But we did just start.

Flippin' Cool!

Wow! I'm up to four readers now!